Title: I Still Remember
15 Minute Ficlet Prompt: Memorable
Fandom/original: Flowers in the Attic AKA The Dollanganger Saga
Characters:</b> Catherine Dollanganger, Cory Dollanganger, Christopher Dollanganger, Chris Jr. Dollanganger
Note: This is my first attempt at writing anything from the world of the Dollanganger family. I hope I did them justice! The song lyrics used in the beginning are from "Field of Innocence" by Evanescence.
I still remember the world from the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now
Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
~ ~ ~ ~
Memories are a funny thing. The ones that you want to lose always seem to find a dark corner of your mind to lurk in until that opportune moment when they can leap back to the forefront, whereas the good memories can't seem to wait to get away and all too quickly become shadowy and difficult to think about.
Even now all that it takes is the mere sight of a doughnut to send memories of the attic rushing vividly into my mind, making me remember the way that little Cory suffered in his last days. Oh, how I miss his sweet little face! Whoever said that grief gets better with time lied, because my heart aches for him even more now than it did then. My poor sweet brother, who never would have even hurt a fly.
"Cathy," he had said to me when I was sent outside to bring him in to join his sister for a bath one day, "Cathy, why does Ricky step on the ant beds? Don't that hurt 'em?"
He looked so distressed at the idea of the ants being in pain that I fell to my knees and wrapped him in my arms. "Oh no, Cory. Ants don't feel it when people step on their homes, it just causes them to have to work hard to rebuild it, that's all."
I can still remember how he smiled at me, can still remember the way that his tiny arms tried in vain to reach around my body as he hugged me back. And oh, God, here are the tears again. My poor brother, who in the end became more of a son to me. Perhaps that is why the pain hurts this much, because I was his protector. I had to be his mother, because God knows the actual holder of that title did nothing to fulfill it. Chris and I tried everything we could to save him, and in the end it just wasn't enough. We weren't enough.
Oh, curse you memories! Why do you make the most horrific times of our lives so memorable? Why is it I can still remember Cory in his deathbed but I can hardly remember Daddy's smile or the way that it felt to be wrapped in his embrace? Why?