Manda (scars_proach) wrote,

15 Minute Ficlet: Robin Hood

Okay, so tonight I got drunk. (I think I deserved it after the past couple of months!) But anyway. I got really curious about what my writing would look like drunk (and my muse has been kind of playing hide and seek with me lately) so I decided to take a 15 minute ficlet challenge and find out.

Now, I am following the rules to the letter and not editing it or anything. I am also choosing to post it while still drunk because I know that if I don't, I might not. (One of those "might seem like a bad idea in the morning" kind of things.)

So without further ado, here is my drunken 15minuteficlets (challenge 194) for Robin Hood BBC

Word: Farewell

Robin can't take it.

Even after the life has left her body, her hand losing its' grasp on his arm and falling to his side, he can't bring himself to let go of her until Much—and it is always Much in these moments—comes to his side and gently urges him to his feet. “Master--” he begins, but then a sob breaks free of his throat and then Robin is crying, sobbing, in his best friends' arms.

She is gone, Marian is gone from him. He knows he should at least be grateful that he got to say goodbye to her, that they were able to be married—he knows they will be together forever in heave now at least. But in this moment of raw, absolutely unspeakable grief, he finds that there is no comfort for him. He is filled with darkness, a void that is a total absence of feeling except for the vice-like coldness that grips his heart.

Little John and Allan dig the grave. King Richard offered to have his men do it but Allan and John refused, something Robin will come to be grateful for in the harsh days that follow. For it is right that his family, Marian's family, should be the ones to dig her final resting place. He finds himself strangely devoid of tears as he gently lifts her into his arms and begins to carry her the short distance to where her grave awaits. He tries (and fails) not to think of the other times he's held her in his arms like this—except that the other times, her arms were around his neck, her eyes open and twinkling with happiness and mischief and love as she stared into his own.

It isn't until he lays her down beside the grave and kneels beside her body that he really begins to grasp the reality of the situation. It still feels like some terrible nightmare that he will soon wake from, but there is a terrible sense of reality beginning to form as he brings his lips to hers and finds them cool, too cool. He draws back, sobbing once again as he stands and joins his friends as they stand solemnly to say goodbye.

In the end, Robin can't stay to watch them put her down there. He can't stand to watch as they cover her with dirt. He returns to the camp and wishes he could drown his sorrows, do something—anything--to keep the harshness of a reality without Marian in it to really begin to sink into his consciousness. But because he is with the king, he cannot. He knows that he must stay on his guard until they leave, and perhaps even past then.

He is Robin Hood, but he is no longer Robin, he thinks bitterly to himself as he bids farewell to Will and Djaq, who have decided to stay behind. He wants to be bitter about their happiness but even in his grief he cannot find it within himself to be that cruel. No, he is happy for his friends and he only wishes that he had made the same decision. He should have left the fight, taken Marian and fled somewhere else where they could have been safe and happy—and he cuts himself off with a bitter laugh, not even able to finish the fantasy before imagining what Marian would have thought of that proposal! He can see how her eyes would flash with anger even now...

And suddenly, his bitter laughter has turned into racking sobs as he is suddenly hit with the full reality of it all—Marian will no longer look at him in anger; indeed, she will no longer look at him at all. He finds a dark corner in the cargo hold to hide for the duration of the trip back to England and he spends it alternately grieving and plotting.

He grieves for his lost love, the one he has had to say farewell to forevermore. And he plots to get revenge against the one who took her away from him and in so doing took him away from his very own self. For he cannot be Robin Hood without his Lady Marian, he knows that as well as he knows that it hurts to breathe without her. He vows that one way or another, he will not be the only one having to say farewell to everything and everyone he thought he knew—he will be sure of it. For Marian.
Tags: 15minuteficlets, fic, lady marian, robin hood, robin hood bbc, robin/marian, writing
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